TRAVELER

I’m a traveler of uncertain path I follow shadows of many trails The road I cross seems to be endless The destiny, beyond my reach By my dream I build my castle I create a kingdom I call my own But this is only when my eyes are closed When I’m awake, can’t find my home I never know if I am lost But the road continues to a way across Nothing seems to satisfy My tired and sleepy, sunken eyes I eat in hunger, I drink in thirst My heart is beating day and night But what is new in this mere travel Aside from getting old and tired I’m a traveler with uncertain goal As I make right and I make wrong But I keep on moving as my heart does beat And I keep on searching like I never sleep Nothing stays in my filthy hands Not even what I long to find The taste of evil is often sweet I guess I’m blinded, I’m trying it I meet people with smiling faces I know, tomorrow, they will just be traces Nothing ever seems to remain Not even a dear friend will ever stay I see a man with a long, white beard and ask about the road he trailed He’s gone so far and explored a lot But an hour time is more than the story of his life What kind of journey does it seem I’m like a pawn of my own life’s game The road is still so long and rough I travel without a traveler’s map I walk with nothing but pretentious hope I’m spelled by life’s kaleidoscope I see an angel with a lovely veil When he turns his back is a thorny tail My dream’s reflections regenerate As I fall asleep like a living dead My lips are hushed, my ears are deaf The world stops in my baffled head The birds, the beetles, the butterflies The bugs, the moths and dragonflies Until when can they spread their wings To search for foods as the foods are them Until when should I run and crawl The piles of questions are standing tall Everything is left behind As I push my steps in this travel time My eyes are sore now and skin turns dry Yet, I run and walk and I don’t know why I keep on going and I have to bear To live the life of a traveler

A JOURNEY ACROSS THE SEVEN HEAVENS

One night after his night prayer, a boy, inspired by what he just read about the nocturnal ascension of the Comforter to the seven heavens asked God to have him even a glimpse of them. “Please also show me the seven heavens,” he whispered.

He closed and opened his eyes but there was nothing. The manifestations of heaven on that particular time were merely the warmth of his blanket and the softness of his bed waiting for him to feel their comfort in the coldness of the night.

In the midst of his curiosity, he wasn’t dismayed anyway. At his young age, his firm belief in One God was already cultivated and his passion to learn deeper is always burning hot inside him.

“There may be seven heavens… but you are only one, oh God … and I never associate anything with you. You are the only God, the most merciful, the most gracious,” he smiled.

“I believe in the seven heavens,” he uttered as he lay in bed. “The Comforter had been there, the mercy to all nations. I believe in all the lights of the world like him. I believe in the angel who brought him there… I believe in the angels...” and peace engulfed the entire room as the boy fell asleep.


“Mom, can I give that poor girl my sandwich…?” he asked his mother while on their way to his school early in the morning when he saw a skinny, dirty girl peeping in their car that was caught in the traffic.

"But you didn’t take your breakfast yet,” her mother retorted.

“I can have my food during lunch in the school,” he begged.

Just before the traffic light lit green, the poor girl had already her alms and another hungry, little stomach was filled with blessing on that day. The boy was as happy as the tiny beggar but his heart was still crying in pity because there are more children like her all over the place.


“…bless that girl, oh, God,” he whispered as he prayed that night. “…bless all the children like her who got no money to buy food or no parents to give care. Please watch over them.” and tears gushed over his cheeks. “…even if you don’t show me now the seven heavens…”

After his prayer, there came a soft voice from his back.

“I am so happy to have a child like you.” the voice started. “If only all the people are like you are, everybody cannot only have the glimpse of the seven heavens but have them for eternity. You have not been there. No, not yet. But you are doing seven special things in your life that keep you near to the heavens you long desire...
(1) You believe in the Comforter and his book and keep the teachings in your heart.
(2) You believe in the angels of God, his holy creations.
(3) You have the heart to help the needy with a noble intention. You can give what you have for other’s needs. Remember the poor girl?
(4) You are doing abstinence for a humble reason. When you didn’t eat your bread for other’s sake, you actually had a ‘fasting’. You did that for your poor fellow, you also did that for the glory of God.
(5) You keep your constant communion with God through prayer.
(6) You are never tired to seek knowledge and truth ,
(7) and above all, you believe in One God without doubt and nurtures the love in your heart to keep on doing good things…”

He came closer to give his mother a hug without uttering a word.

“Yes, you never have had the glimpse of the seven heavens… not yet,” she continued. “But son, you are already in a journey across the seven heavens.”

PERFECTION

REMEMBER THE HAPPY MOMENTS OF YOUR CHILDHOOD IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL YOUNG AGAIN EXPRESS YOUR LOVE WHENEVER NEEDED IT WILL SHOW THE SUN ON YOUR FACE FORGIVE AN ENEMY IT WILL FREE YOUR HEART FROM HATRED ADMIT A MISTAKE IT WILL STRAIGHTEN YOUR PATH INSPIRE THE CHILDREN WITH GOOD EXAMPLES THEY WILL PASS THEM ON TO OTHERS ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR TIME AND PRAY LIFE IS SO SHORT TO ATTAIN PERFECTION

DON'T ASK ME WHY

Don’t ask me why…
It is but a secret kept beneath the deepest of my life.
Don’t look through the heart of my sadness.
I may not be me but I am myself.

Don’t ask me why if I don’t speak much.
I didn’t even cry the day WE were born.
I have the same asking too. Let it be mine alone.
Don’t try to sprinkle my dew over the desert of my life.
My dew is but a mirage. It’s an illusion.

Don’t try to cheer me up with your smile. It only hurts.
A smile is my handcuff. My prison.

Don’t often remind me of my sadness.
It is what I have suckled from my mother’s breast during my infancy…
and will be inside my scabbard forever.

My friend, don’t ask me why.
By sadness, I saw the “life” .
She conceived me and I came out from her.
So, don’t wipe away my tears. It is by these tears that I
could only write my hopes and wishes.

Don’t come to me closer.
Don’t ask me why because you won’t understand.
The darkness, the sadness and I were born one.
Sure, the sun will rise after the hour of my death.

Don’t ask me why…

AS SALAM ALAIKOM

AND THE SUN SHONE OVER ME THEN I FOUND THE WAY I YEARNED TO SEE BRIGHT AND PURE, IT GUIDED ME AND DROVE AWAY MY MISERY DOUBT HAD BEEN A WORD APART THE TRUTH SHOWED NO WAY TO DEPART UNVEILLED WERE PILLARS OUGHT TO GUARD I BOWED MY HEAD – IT WARMED MY HEART LIKE A NEWBORN CHILD, MYSELF HAD BEEN LIKE A TINY SEED IN THE DESERT’S REALM KINDLED WITH THE FIRE UNSEEN I SAW THE HEAVEN IN MY DREAM A PEACEFEL GREETING OPENED DOOR LIKE THE ANGEL’S BREATH, IT INVITED ALL DIRECTIONS SHOWED AND DUTIES TOLD EVERYTHING TURNED TO UNFOLD EAGER NOT TO FEED MY FLESH THE MORE MY SOUL SURPASSED THE TESTS REMINDED ME OF HAPPINESS THE TIME I REACH MY HOME AND REST

YOU HAVE A CHOICE

In my
dream the GOD spoke.
He simply said “You have a
choice.”
“My Lord,” I sighed. “ I can’t understand.”
“My child,”
he said. “You had the chance.”

Then by his tears I kneeled
and cried.
“How far am I to paradise?”
“You gave me choice but here am
I...”
The choice is
mine, so why I must cry?

Then from above the angel praised.
But I
can’t look on that holy face.
"...my Lord, please let me hear your voice.”
Again He said “You had the choice.”

“… If you believe that there is God
but
never fear the second life…
You have a choice.

If by the aisle is a
beggar’s plea
And in your hands are bread and money…
You have a choice.

If I promised you the paradise
But you can’t wait or think it lie…
You have a choice.

If you see evil on someone’s face
But enjoy
the passion of his ways…
You have a choice.

When I heard your wish
as you cried and prayed,
did you thank me then or you betrayed…?
There,
you had your choice.

If in my name, you wept and cried
But still the
evil you desired…
My son, you had the choice.

If you turned your
back from a mortal sin
And think of trying it again…
You have a choice.

By the angels’ eyes, I only watch
They are along your every path…
I tell you, you have a choice.

If by your brother I spoke to you
And then you knew what you must do…
You have a choice.

If to my
heaven you raised your head
But in your pocket is a sinner’s bread…
You
have a choice.

If from somebody you felt my love
But still in evil
you are more glad…
You have a choice.

You sure are happy as you are
free
You have the choice of destiny…
Yes, my child, you have a choice.

But when my angel blows his trumpet
To speak my plan by the heaven’s
gate…
My son, don’t ask me then if you still have the choice.


All through your life you had it.”

NOW

Now I’m here. But I don’t know up to what point. I’m trying to figure out what’s behind the horizon ahead of me that I keep staring at the ever-changing clouds just like the many scenes from the back of my mind. Where am I going…? What am I to do…? There are places I’m trying to remember --- places where I used to enjoy myself before but now are like the fading shadows that I can’t even totally recall --- some places that I once thought my final dwelling to enjoy life. There are words that are trying to resound from the pasts --- laughter, friendship, love. They make me smile. They are even trying to pull out the tears that keep on holding behind my eyes. There were many people that I’ve met and shared the life with. In different ways, they made my life glow like the reflection of the morning sunshine on the clearest ocean. I knew them very well --- I laughed with them, cried with them, sang with them, joked with them and shared many inspiring words with them. But those were then. Despite all my efforts to preserve those robust memories that once valued and treasured, they simply split-out from my imagination as an ember that was once playing on a wood charcoal. But in spite of, I miss them. Words are not trustful, I may think. We can utter our sweetest of them and make ourselves believe in their own promises conceived by our own thoughts, and sometimes be convinced that that’s for eternity… but only for the meantime. Words, like butterflies, have wings too. If we can only hear one butterfly speaks, it may be saying “I love you” to a fine flower and indulge itself to its scent and the taste of its nectar. We can somewhat even read what’s in its thought --- like what we have when we mumble such words that enliven our beings --- but not until that tiny creature eyes another flower and revives the same feelings and words it once whispered to its first inspiration --- that then it may realize that everything changes even the self-contentment --- according to what the eyes see… according to the body touches… according to a somebody you convey your ideas to… AT THE PRESENT TIME. So, what really matters most in our life is WHAT IS NOW. Like the butterfly, it may appear that the flower that touched its life for sometime didn’t exist to it at all --- despite the words it uttered --- words, feelings and emotions all together it once believed the eternal wonders to its earthly existence. Just like us ! I remember my playground. I remember my childhood. I remember my fondest experiences. But why is it so hard to predicate such memories to bring back to life the same old emotions ? Instead, it’s a painstaking effort to look back to those old paths which created a myriad avenues in our respective lives. Oblivion is imperative somehow. No matter how hard we deny it, no matter how hard we attach ourselves to such memories that once made our spirits soar, what matters still is what we have now… what we do now… what we are experiencing right now. The most likely that we can do is to infer those movies in our minds as merely parts of our journey--- for life is undeniably commutative like the clouds in the sky… or we will be putting ourselves to an intricate state. Today, I may say that I love my present place… that somebody’s the best for me… that I enjoy what I do now… or laugh with my present companions to the fullest. But tomorrow, they may be gone. Slowly fade-away and form another structures of my pasts. Now is now. I am along the seashore glimpsing at the clouds and witnessing their changing forms like magic but I don’t know if it’s an agony or a glorious reformation for that huge floating cottons. I’m with my best friend, Keno, at this very moment. He is my most trusted. He always has a way to make me happy when I’m sad. He is happy when I’m happy. He is also sad when I am sad. I can tell him everything without any hesitation knowing that he can always keep a secret between the two of us. A sort of, he is my confidant. I appreciate his strict protection over me to defend me from my enemies. I like the way he barks. I like the way he wiggles his tail when he needs to convey something to bring to my knowing. I admire his magnificence when he catches a piece of wood after I threw it from afar. I am happy with him. NOW. But just like the same old stories, I can never buy the idea that this heart-warming experience is for the rest of my life. He may die sooner or I may lay down my body beneath the earth earlier than him. Who knows ? I may be afar from him, soon or late, keeping the belief in my pocket that he won’t forget me anyhow. But I don’t have the control over his feelings and emotions --- they are like clouds too. Neither him. He will not know if I can still remember even his name after our assumed final separation. Someday, I know, he may just be a fragment of my memories. What’s behind the horizon? Well, I never know ! But to live in the memories of the past is to toil on the journey bleak and vague. The bliss is everywhere. We don’t even need to try a multitude of escapades to find it. It’s very near from us. Actually, in us. In our hearts. Yesterday is gone. But now is not forever. Maybe someday, to another place and time of our journey, we can blend back our blissful memories to share the life again with the people who once touched our hearts. No angst of separation. No worry of oblivion. There, NOW is forever.